I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
