well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
