It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize