just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
