ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
