i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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