even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
