She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
