Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
