I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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