Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Welp...herpes.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
