Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
