Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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