Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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