i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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