i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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