Why are handjobs necessary in class?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
