8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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