I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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