So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
