She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
