Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize