Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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