is your mom at the bar?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
