Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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