I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
