well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
