You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize