I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm at about main and main street
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
