I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
