I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize