operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
