I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We are two peas in an std pod
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
