Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
