btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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