24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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