just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
