Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
