I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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