You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
