Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
