week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
