yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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