I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize