You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
