Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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