Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
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