if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize