Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
