White coat. Heels.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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