I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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