we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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