I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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