Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
