is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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