Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
