It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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