so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
